Lately the media and social media has been busy over a young girl of 21 that murdered her married boyfriend, a media mogul. With a lot of comments from the moralistic society of ours that will never look at the remote causes.

Blablabla, everyone is on the moral standing blaming the girl that killed the man ! Yes, murder is bad but let’s look at the motive, her nurture (society ) and her nature ( psychological make up) let’s stop acting as Blackman that is totally known to be emotional and less logical! Let’s ask ourselves salient and silent questions like , how did we get here ? Let’s stop blaming the dead man or the girl and look at the bigger pictures

Parent accepting money from their kids without asking questions, wives happy husband drives big car without asking questions, pastors accepting big tithes without asking questions, young men admiring girls that use phone of 400k without any visible source of income ….all these things lead to the society producing girls as young as 21 called Chidinma

But, I grew up in the East, showiness wasn’t part of our culture? It is rare to see a man celebrating birthdays like 40th , 50th or some flimsy house warning birthday. We never did it , couldn’t remember my dad doing it. (he was okay financially)but didn’t and I couldn’t remember my friends parents either doing it. So I don’t get it where we took this showiness from. It puts people in the harm’s way, and religious institutions aren’t helping matter. If you don’t drive good car or dress well, you might not be comfortable in any church today , that is the level of showiness! It leads people to do terrible terrible things !

That (showmanship ) has been the black culture, we try to do something or acquire material wealth not to assist folks or give back to the society but to oppress and that is our motive. Unlike the whites, they might be a bit humbler and descreet when they are rich . You rarely know ! They don’t even want you to call them by any time or Mr. They prefer their names, simplicity! But here,you must add sir, chief, pastor, apostle, deacon , arch , bar, etc…. unnecessary showiness, very disgusting attitude of ours !

How can a girl like that , 21 yrs be thinking of murder, at that age I was busy with looking for my project topic and dealing with carryover ! I mean my mum was late and I can’t afford to fail or not to graduate irrespective of all odds. I don’t blame the girl per say! I blame parenting !

We as parents leave the critical and focus on ridiculous.i always ask questions in my house, when did this come , who brought this,, why this …oh I talk too much! I can’t stop talking! The last thing anyine would do is to think you can impress me with anything!

If it’s a car, I have driven many and I don’t think you can impress me with that , I have a phone so you can’t ignore me with your billionaire phone! I am contended as a man not your house, because by the grace of God we aren’t sleeping under the bridge .

The problem is on the society. The parents that have refused to tell the child that hardwork pays or accepts anything that she brings without asking questions. The pastor that focuses on preaching of financial favours all the time and let my enemies suffer all the times and not telling the young ones that hard work pays, that it is wrong to follow people’s husband’s irrespective of the social engineering of men ! As not asking questions where tithes and offerings are coming from or source

The society has lost morals ! The young ones are just waiting time bombs ! They just don’t want to work, you can’t recruit them, if you employ them in businesses they will steal you to bankruptcy! You can’t hire them either, they don’t know anything all they just want to do is to blow. We have many Chidinma amongst us all , just that this one lady the sugar daddy died in her room in Cement axis of Lagos just few weeks ago !

The truth is that most of all these girls will never want to date single men, they see them as never do well, they are always falling for married men irrespective of the rings. I know what I am talking and it’s quite unfortunate that they believe that they can’t build a sustaining relationship, I see it as avarice and lack of contentment and focus on the side of the ladies and young guys , up your game .

Do I blame the man? I am not going to do that because I will not be judgemental here and I will not also blame the Chidinma, I am laying the blames on the society, on the parenting, on the churches, pastors , priests that have left the word of God to preach materialism, I am blaming the media for promoting amoral acts as success e.g big brother Africa where people are rewarded for having sex outside or doing nothing apart from smoking loud, shisha and Colorado! I am blaming our stupid elders that are in offices of power that have nothing to show for morals but steal and be corrupts forgetting that the young ones are watching and will want to “blow” I don’t know if they re fuses .

I am blaming you that is reading this for not speaking up, I am blaming that mother that would not allow anyone to correct her and her children, I am blaming the mother that would wear the daughter skimpy things from childhood for her to start focusing her mind on her shapes and men not books and future.i am blaming the father for not Manning up ! I am blaming us all not the Chidinma. We all have produced and manufactured the Chidinma. You can’t f..king exonerate yourself! You are guilty, the society is guilty and we must all head back to drawing board. We are just too terrible, bad. Corrupt and amoral in this country or society of us irrespective of our religiiusity. Nobody says the truth again ! It’s that bad and we will keep producing many Chidinmas.

Don’t blame her, blame the society that produced her!

©Emeka Nwosu

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