In many Nigerian households, the roles of family members undergo significant shifts as time passes, with fathers often finding themselves sidelined in their later years. This transition raises the question: why does this happen, and what can be done to address it?

For the first 25 years, fathers are often the dominant figures in the family—providing, making decisions, and sometimes enforcing discipline. In many cases, their authority can feel overwhelming, with children respecting their father out of fear rather than deep affection. Meanwhile, mothers typically serve as the emotional anchors of the family, nurturing the children and forming the close bonds that shape their emotional development.

As children grow, however, the balance begins to shift. After completing their education and entering the workforce, their allegiance often leans more toward their mother. It is the mother who offers comfort and listens to their struggles, whereas the father may be too absorbed in work or maintaining authority. Over time, mothers become the primary emotional connection, the first point of contact when gifts are needed or when seeking advice.

When children grow up, leave the home, and start their own families, the dynamics continue to evolve. The father, once the head of the household, may now find himself increasingly isolated. In the event of disagreements between the parents, children often side with their mother, reinforcing the emotional divide. In some tragic instances, fathers who once commanded respect may feel abandoned and unheard in their later years.

For those fathers who have neglected to build emotional connections with their families, old age can be particularly difficult. Physical ailments such as hypertension and stroke, compounded by loneliness and stress, may take a toll. Though they provided for their families, those who neglected nurturing relationships often find themselves in a silent struggle for companionship and love.

The lesson here is clear: while fathers hold positions of power in the early years, it is essential to lead with love, not just authority. Building emotional bonds with children and fostering a respectful relationship with spouses is crucial for the future. Fathers should strive to be remembered not just for their authority but for their love and guidance.

To children, it is important to remember the sacrifices your father made. While no parent is perfect, your father worked hard to ensure your future. Honor him, and both your parents, as they age. It is not just a matter of gratitude but setting a positive example for future generations.

For mothers, it is essential to encourage unity and not create division between your children and their father. Parenting is a challenging journey, and fostering love and understanding is far more powerful than nurturing resentment.

Ultimately, family is everything. Let us strive to build relationships that stand the test of time, ensuring that the bonds we form today are ones we can count on in the years to come.