Yesterday, I had an interesting yet baffling conversation with an Igbo man from Owerri, Imo State, Nigeria. He confidently declared that women who work tirelessly to raise their children without the support of their deadbeat partners are simply wasting their time and resources. According to him, Igbo culture supports men in such a way that, eventually, the father and his family will claim the children, regardless of their absence in the children’s upbringing. That’s why, he said, most Igbo men don’t bother taking responsibility.
Honestly, that was one of the dumbest things I have ever heard from a supposedly learned man! Culture or no culture, no reasonable man abandons his (child)ren and responsibilities. Fatherhood is not a title you wear when it’s convenient; it’s a responsibility you uphold through action, love, and sacrifice.
Fatherhood is not SEASONAL!!!
And let’s be clear, no intelligent, brave, and strong woman who single-handedly raised her precious children in this world will ever allow a deadbeat or a ‘deliberate-absent’ father or his entitled family members to suddenly show up and “claim” them. On what moral, ethical, spiritual, or legal grounds do they think they have that right? What exactly is going to give them that power or authority over the woman andcher grown children? Because of culture? Nonsense! Try that nonsense with an animal first before you think of trying it with a woman, let alone a strong one. Lol! That man and his entire delusional generation may not live to tell the story!
The truth is simple: successful children do not chase after the families that abandoned them and their mother. It’s the forgotten, wicked, deceitful, irresponsible, and forsaken families that come crawling back when they see success. The world has evolved beyond outdated, corrupt, senseless, misleading, manipulative cultural excuses used to justify irresponsibility. Make your money, build your legacy, and choose where and how to enjoy it. The moment you succeed, those who abandoned you will look for you—but the choice of who remains in your life will always be yours!
“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” — 1 Timothy 5:8
“A woman who single-handedly builds an empire for her lovely children is a force that no deadbeat can ever claim rights over. Legacy is built by presence, not excuses.” – Dr. Sandra C Duru
Prof. Mgbeke
