Julie, my late sister, had since relocated to her father’s house, our house, as she had adjudged her late husband’s home not very accommodating. She took her children along. Around 3pm on the 3rd of June 2024, my sister died in the loving arms of her only daughter in my family house right before MaryRose, her younger sister. Even though his abroad based first son and I were promptly informed, it was still the duty of Obiora, our eldest brother to direct on what next to do with her body. Catechist Obiora, after conferring with me, his only brother, decided to take our sister’s corpse to the mortuary. My late sister’s son was asked to inform his father’s relatives that their wife had died.
In line with Nnewi culture, Ezeumunna family of Abụbọ Nnewichi, our in-laws, had to send a delegation with drinks and kola nuts to my sister’s father’s house to inform us that their wife had died even though they knew that she died in her father’s house. That visit was an opportunity to hold our in-laws accountable and ask questions on how they treated our daughter and demand for appeasement failing which we would sideline them in her burial and funeral plans. Of course, we could proceed to bury our sister as we deem appropriate and also perform her funeral ceremonies in her father’s house. Yes, we could do that because she belongs to us, her relatives both in life and in death. She was only on a marriage journey to her husband’s home.The leasehold regarded as marriage has ended and the ownership of my eldest sister would have to revert to her father’s kinsmen.
The point to stress here is that the bride price paid to marry an Nnewi woman is just a lease payment which tenor ends whenever the woman dies or is divorced. Once the woman is dead, the husband’s people must return the corpse to her father’s home for burial or exchange the corpse with the woman’s very important household possession called ngịga which is a woven basket with a small orifice. It is inside the ngịga, which is usually hung to a long rope dripping from kitchen roof and is about three feet away from the fire place, that a married woman stores all her cooking condiments which need the heat from the cooking fire to be preserved.
Invention of stoves, gas cookers and modernity have conspired to withdraw the use of ngịga. The dead woman’s life picture portrait is now being used in exchange for her corpse. That is after the husband’s people must have provided some other material requirements with prescribed entertainment.
In the memory of a peaceful man that married my late sister, my brother and I decided not to activate any trouble buttons but to be civil and respectful to the delegation of Ezeumunna family, our in-laws. They knew what we are capable of doing being that my extended Ezeoguine family are the rulers of Nnewi. Nnewi is a town which headship has been hereditary.
Dates were agreed for the funeral rites of my late sister without hassles as we decided to regard whatever that cried in the night of her marriage journey as mosquitoes.
Ndị Nnewi have longed moved forward more than Idoma people who still insist that a wife must be returned to her father’s house for burial. They do this up till date. I learnt that many communities in Edo State still do it.
Even with three grown children, Julie my late sister was referred to as Nwaọkpụ Ọkpụnyo Otolo as she never belonged to her husband’s family but her children do. My sister has always been the property of the Ezenwegbu Ezeoguine royal family as she was deemed to be on a marriage pilgrimage to her husband’s house. Upon death, her mission has been accomplished and she must be returned home.
According to Nnewi modernity induced amended tradition, before my sister is buried, her body must first be brought to her father’s house for a brief lying-in-state before it is taken to her husband’s home for the continuation of the funeral ceremonies. Any Nnewi girl married outside Nnewi could lose opportunity of this rite if her husband’s town is far. So, you can now understand some of the reasons why Nnewi parents prefer Nnewi husbands for their daughters.
After the brief stopover at her father’s compound, the corpse is then escorted to her husband’s home for continuation of funeral rites. But once the corpse is buried, all the dead woman’s father’s relatives will depart for the dead woman’s father’s compound to conduct their own funeral ceremonies, receiving and entertaining their guests. For instance, all my friends, my wife’s people will pay their condolence to me and my family in my father’s house. Clearly put, a married woman’s funeral ceremonies take place in her husband’s house and her father’s house simultaneously.
The funeral ceremony in the woman’s father’s home would be paused by early evening to enable the father’s family visit their daughter’s family home to perform the ibu ozu nwa ada ceremony. The father of the deceased or the person acting as his father would stay back while the funeral delegation is led by the next in line. In my sister’s case, Catechist Obiora will stay behind while yours sincerely or any other relative will lead my kinsmen to my sister’s husband’s house.
On arrival, the funeral party will approach the condolence table with drinks and clothes after which they would be ushered into a place prepared for them for entertainment which is then followed by the ibu ozu nwa ada rites.
Until my family goes to take either her body, ngịga or picture home and performs separation rituals which is now conducted in a pseudo-christian way, her spirit would not allow her husband’s people rest.
The actual ritual by which a dead woman’s spirit is taken back to her father’s home is called “Ibu ozu nwa ada” in Nnewi. In the case of Julie, my late sister, it has been agreed to happen on the 19th July 2024, in the evening of the day she will be buried. Once we arrive her husband’s house to perform this ritual, all forms of condolences ends as the husband’s family is expected to provide the final marital settlement thereafter, we take the spirit of our sister back to her father’s place where she belongs.
Ikenga Ezenwegbu
13 July 2024
