In a fascinating glimpse into the cultural practices of the Igbo people, it has been revealed that same-sex marriage, particularly between two women, is not only permitted but also deeply ingrained in certain traditions. This cultural phenomenon sheds light on the intricate ways in which societal norms intersect with familial obligations and lineage continuity.

In this specific form of marriage, an older widow who has passed menopause takes a younger woman of reproductive age as her spouse. The primary motivation behind such unions is the desire to ensure the continuation of the late husband’s lineage by bearing sons. Prior to entering into this arrangement, the older woman informs the umunna, the traditional council of elders, about her decision, signifying the gravity of her sacrifice.

The umunna, recognizing the significance of this gesture, extends their support and accompanies the widow in seeking the younger woman’s hand in marriage. Once the union is formalized, the widow assumes the role of husband, symbolized by the payment of the bride price, thereby cementing her status within the community.

It is noteworthy that widows often prefer to marry women who have previously borne children, particularly sons, outside of wedlock, as fatherhood in Igbo culture is validated solely through the payment of bride price. Following the marriage, the elderly widow receives special honor and recognition among men, solidifying her esteemed position within the community.

In certain regions of Igbo land, women in such unions are prohibited from engaging in extramarital affairs and are expected to abstain from male companionship for the remainder of their lives. Furthermore, it is imperative to clarify that these marriages are non-sexual in nature, as homosexuality is considered an abomination within Igbo culture.

Interestingly, the younger spouse retains the freedom to engage with men outside of the marriage, and any children born from such encounters are recognized as legitimate heirs to the widow’s late husband, carrying his name forward through generations. This unique cultural practice has played a vital role in preserving and ensuring the continuity of diverse lineages within Igbo society.

For further insights into Igbo cultural traditions, visit Igbo History.TV.

 

 

Seasoned media personality and entertainment journalist, Sam Anokam recently to his love of live Linda in a wedding that was well attended by the media community in Lagos, The Nation Newspaper, Alumni of IMSU and well-wishers from Imo state and Anambra state.

Speaking to the media, an elated Sam said, “I am grateful to God for making this day come through. It is a thing of pleasure to see myself and lovely wife surrounded by those that value and appreciate us. We are grateful for this, we are thankful for those that honored our invitation.”

In line with his position, the wife, Linda added that,”We cannot thank God enough for this day. It has been a journey and we strongly believe in God first. We are outing God firm in our union and also, he will be the author and finisher of this union. I also thank those that took time to come. I feel special today.”Bride and Groom

Speaking about the groom, Ngozi Okonkwo (Nee Nzeribe) a course-mate from Imo State University, Owerri same department with Sam added that”Over years, I have known Sam as a good man that do not quarrel with anyone, focused and very dedicated, I am sure that the wife has found a jewel in him. He is a man that knows what it takes not to offend people and he will just do this. I and some of my course mates who are here wish him a splendid union.”

“We are very impressed with the organization and also we are wishing them success in their marriage. We believe that they should apply the advises that have been given to them by many people especially the catholic priest for this marriage to work. We are very happy that this event was a success, said Pet, a course mate from IMSU.

Sam Anokam is a seasoned media personality, having worked with so many media houses and represented many of the movie industry and Actors Guild, graduated from the Imo State University. Anokam is the current secretary of IMSU Alumni Lagos, works with The Nation Newspaper and publishes NEWSTIME AFRICA, an online media platform that showcases the positives side of Nigeria especially the entertainment business.

Clara Nchekwube

 

 

Tony Nwosu and Linda Odor

 

Tony and Mike
from Left to Right is Ngozi,Sammy,Linda and Zoba

I have been a salesman all my life to know why some products sell and others don’t.

Asides what we have been taught in the holy books about marriage, I have come to a conclusion that good grooming and packaging amongst other salient values are today’s best qualities any lady should have to attract a good long lasting husband, a real man.

My conviction is further reinforced by the failure of marriages of very spiritual couples and marriage counsellors. They knew what to do but could not do what they needed to do and the cookie crumbled.

Every perceptive mother should refocus their daughters to easily recognize the qualities of a man that will ultimately make good husband and in whom you would be pleased.

A guy that is focused takes good care of the mother and sisters; he is a guy that believes in the work he does and has a demonstrable notch progress; that guy that respects women and believes that only weak men beat their wives is the real deal.

Any guy that does not dress to impress, who is confident of his background and people, who makes success of his assignments and would not drop names to boost his ego is the real man.

The guy’s ambition should be estimated from the type of friends he keeps, how forward looking his friends are and how he understands his environment. If he is queer, he has something to hide.

The current crop of good husbands would want their future wives to be partners rather than parasites. Therefore, a daughter must be made to have ambition to succeed without betraying a trait of competition with the menfolk. Many men are fickle minded.

A smart lady should dress for occasion and should talk softly and kindly. A charismatic lady’s voice is not supposed to be heard where she is not seen. When she appears, all heads turn to behold a queen of hearts. Grooming school helps achieve these.

Yes, the way she talks, smiles and walks indicates how well groomed she is. Men see these as tell tale signs.

Real men know that a snake must give birth to a long slender offspring. So, a mother’s known reputation is an enough advertisement and is indicative of how the daughters would turn out.

So Mama, be careful not to fight your husband, retort, abuse him or display any act of domestic violence before your daughters. They may think it is normal.

Today’s suitors are looking for women who would complement them or add value to their lives because of the present harsh economic conditions. A wife married to a young man should at least buy her essential needs at the start.

Read the weather and ensure that you guide your daughters towards professions that will make them independent.

Tell your daughters not to measure love by expensive gifts. In fact, they should return any gift from a man which you, her parents, cannot afford. Men value this crop of girls and tend to think that they are real.

A girl must cook well. It’s an irreducible value.

She must be seen as clean. You will be surprised to know that some men peep to see the state of the clothes a lady leaves out to dry or those in the laundry bags. They are indicative of things unseen.

The smartest guy would on a visit ask to use the toilet to ascertain how clean the girl or her family is.

Tell your daughters never to openly say that they hate mothers-in-law or sisters-in-law. They by so doing turn the real men off.

Good men are family-centered. They give all family members their due share of love and care. We are Africans.

Funnily enough, non-religious girls with good grooming and inviting credentials marry faster than the godly ones. Perhaps you think that the devil is at work. No! You sell what you produce.

Your daughters’ marriage may be faster if you groom and package them well. It’s all about coincidence of wants. Men buy value these days.

Check out a daughter nearby who is said to be ripe but not yet harvested and you would see many unattractive features or behaviours that discourage men who want peace of mind in a permanent relationship. Many of the yet to marry ladies should have been the suitors. They are wired that way but are not utusified or phallused. They have all it takes to marry but no man or recommender trusts a serious engagement with them.

I might be wrong but this is how I see it for now.

ANAYO NWOSU

Chief Joseph Nwosu, who retired in 1924 as the highest ranking Nnewi man in the rested Royal Niger Company (later to be known as United African Company, UAC) rightly believed that his late brother’s son who had just returned from the Second World War in Burma and had just been employed by John Holt West Africa as a store manager in Zaria was ripe for marriage. It was his duty to get a befitting wife for his nephew who not only should have a good upbringing but also should have a good understanding of the mentality of an ex-serviceman. He set out to accomplish his traditional and fatherly role. He had hinted his nephew of his intentions to find a wife for him just for information sake, a hint the groom needed to make his abode ready for matrimonial activities.

A search began and the lot fell on a lady called Uzonicha, so named as her mother went into labour and was delivered on her way by foot, from Nnewi to Otu Onitsha market to sell her wares. The father, Mr. Charles Enumah who, as at 1938, was a constable (and the second highest ranking police officer from Nnewi after Sergeant Anuligo) was so elated that her daughter was the choice of the Nwosu’s from the great Ezeoguine Royal family in Otolo Nnewi. His background check on the prospective groom was positive hence he gave a green light for further discussions.

On one sunny evening in 1948, Chief Nwosu met Corporal Enumah at his home in Okpuno Nnewichi, Nnewi and both agreed that Mr. Francis Nwosu, the ex-serviceman, resident in Zaria was the best fit for Miss Uzonicha who was in school in Enugu. The traditional marriage ceremonies were conducted for the couple in absentia as marriage in Igbo land is actually between families. Even when present, the groom is not allowed to participate in negotiations and payment of the bride price. He is only allowed to represent the his kinsmen in husbanding the wife.

Miss Uzonicha Enumah was brought home from Enugu by her elated mother a day before the Nwosu family paid the bride price. She was told about the family and man she was to marry. She was enjoined to be a good ambassador of her mum and Enumah family in her husband’s place. All ceremonies concluded, she followed Chief Joseph Nwosu and his entourage home.

The new bride was assigned to Chief Nwosu’s eldest wife for tutelage on how to live and manage a man especially an ex-serviceman. She was briefed on and was taught how to prepare the husband’s best delicacies and how to forever endear herself to her man in and out of bedroom. After six months, she was sent to Aba in the present day Abia State, to the home of the future husband’s sister, Mrs Janet Egwuonwu to learn modern homemaking, sowing and other husband-thrilling skills.

One evening in March 1948, satisfied with the readiness of the bride to assuming her prepared duties, Mrs Egwuonwu call Uzonicha to her room and told her that she would be traveling to Zaria in two days’ time to meet and stay with her husband. The news filled Uzonicha with happiness and anxiety in equal measures. Clearly, she was ready to practice all she had learnt.

Mr. Francis Obiukwu Nwosu, had received a telegram from his sister about the arrival of his bride from Aba by rail. He was at the popular Zaria train terminus 2 hours before the arrival of the most important visitor. With placard bearing “Uzonicha Enumah “, he waved to any Igbo-looking girl, smiling from both sides of the teeth.

His heart nearly cut when he saw a tall, dark, slim, beautiful and breastfull lady approach him asking if he was Mr. Nwosu and gently announcing who she was in an angelic but mellifluous voice. He created a scene at the station warranting his friend Humphrey, to admonish him that “there was no need for someone to pinch one’s parcel with a nail at the post office when there’s enough time to open same all alone at home”.

A christian wedding was done a week after and the couple began their marital life as man and wife till June 8, 1978 when Mr. Francis Nwosu, my father, died at the age of 64 while his wife Uzonicha, my mother died 40 years after in 2018.

Many marriages in Nnewi, Anambra state, South East Nigeria were contracted in a similar manner as my parents’. The relations of the groom knowing his traits would search to find a bride that would complement him to ensure a harmonious home. Most marriages organized through this method hardly end up in divorce.

My mum, Mrs. Uzonicha Nwosu, testified to the efficacy of match-making and the need for pre-marital training by experienced and intelligent elderly women. She believed that the information gathered, in advance, about my dad from the people that watched him grow into a man especially his behaviour, temperament and choice of delicious foods helped her to make her marriage exemplary.

In memory of a blissful marriage she had with my dad and how loving my dad was to her, my mum would want her daughters-in-law enjoy same. In a clear demonstration of feminine bias, my mum on my wedding night, placed a curse on me, should I ever beat my wife. I have been asking her to lift this curse as it has vitiated my manliness at home.

When I bark, my wife laughs it off since she knows that I have been made toothless by my mother’s curse. The nostalgia of her happy marriage has become my cross.

Many people here would term this practice anachronistic or ancient while holding anew similar stories in the Bible.

Anayo Nwosu