Public affairs commentator, Ejike Okoli, has called on men intending to marry women raised by single parents to ensure that both biological parents are acknowledged and involved in the marriage process, regardless of past family disputes.
Okoli, who made the remarks in a widely circulated statement, said that the most honourable approach for any man is to secure the blessings of both parents of his fiancée wherever possible. According to him, if the woman lives under the care of her mother, every effort should still be made to inform and involve the father in the wedding proceedings, whether or not he has been present in the child’s life.
Conversely, he advised that where the woman was raised by her father, her mother should also be invited and recognized during the marriage rites.
Okoli further stressed the cultural significance of “omugwo”, the traditional postnatal care offered by the woman’s mother after childbirth, urging husbands to encourage their wives to allow their mothers perform that role, irrespective of old grievances.
He cautioned men against aligning themselves with negative narratives their fiancées may hold against the parent they do not live with. According to him, adopting such bias could eventually lead to disrespect and conflict in the marriage.
“The first step of making a fool of yourself in that family is when you tag along with the narrative used to discredit any of her parents,” Okoli stated. “If you allow disrespect towards either parent, it will eventually come back to you.”
He clarified that he is not opposed to marrying individuals from single-parent homes, but insisted that the man should not take sides in parental disagreements. “Do the right thing first and take the lead in your family,” he added.
Okoli referenced the recent controversy involving politician Ned Nwoko, suggesting that failure to manage such sensitive family dynamics can result in embarrassment and strained relations.
